Friday, June 25, 2010

Road Tripped

Let me make sure I understand this correctly,

You're having a Poker Tournament, WITH Bounties if I knock out certain players, PLUS a Playboy Playmate there hosting? Oh and there IS a bar right? So hmmm Poker, cash, hot chick, and booze...have I died and gone to heaven? (No because you're in Tacoma for one, two she's blond and maybe 90lbs, and c. if there is a heaven, you're DEFINITELY NOT going to it!)

So Palace Casino in Lakewood of all places, (basically drive to crap town and keep going till it sucks more, and it's on your right) was holding a $20,000 Tourney with bounties for $220 which is pretty big for this kind of venue and I thus assumed people would be playing out of their element, so I'd have a little edge. (Besides the fact that mere mortals aren't accustomed to being around Playboy models on a regular basis, so they may be a bit distracted, unlike of course yours truly), so with Protege in tow I made the trek.

I'm going to cliff note this for you. I didn't win.

I got to about 25th out of 78 and got taken out by one of the many HIGH QUALITY players there with his AMAZING ALL IN call of 17,000 chips with K8 off suit vs my A10 of clubs, (and if you think he had a read on me, I'm pretty sure the Sunday comics were above his capacity, so no. AND NO. I'M NOT JOKING.)

That being said, I wasn't the least bit surprised. This was one of the most stressful tournaments I've ever played in, and not because of the usual pressures involved, because this was one of the worst run, disorganized, amateurish tournaments I've every had the misfortune to attend, and with one of the weakest fields to boot. (BESIDES the hour and a half drive in rush hour traffic in the boiling sun, yeah besides that.)

Here is the part where I bore and baffle you all with the many ways this casino did not understand how to run a tournament this big, (or maybe even ANY tournament) and...ACTION:

Nobody knowing who was in charge, wrong number of seats at the tables, not preparing for players to come in after we started, dealers who had OBVIOUSLY never dealt a tournament EVER, a random draw for bounty players where a selected player didn't want to be the bounty and THEY LET HIM DECLINE, no tournament clock, not stopping the clock when there were issuesletting moved players skip blinds by not making sure they were in their seats when being moved, not understanding how to race chips, the Playboy bunny being WAY less attractive than advertised, arbitrarily not enforcing the "over the line rule", but most importantly of all these stupid things was the EXCRUCIATINGLY SLOW PACE OF THE DEALERS.

Suffice it to say, I've seen smoother run tourneys AT MY HOUSE full of drunken fools after 17 shot's of Austrian Kryptonite and 2 hours sleep the night before.

The snails pace of this thing was KILLING ME! The thing about tournaments as opposed to live play is that you are on a clock. The blinds keep rising round after round, so you need to get some hands you can play and you need to try to see as many hands per hour as possible in order to just stay a float. Well when your only getting about 9-10 hands a round, it's a bit tough to pick up any steam, (compared to approx 18-28hph average.)

Maybe $220 isn't a lot of coin in Lakewood, but where I'm from it buys a lot of bourbon, so I'm pretty confused at the ridiculous level of play of these people. I mean they sucked. They may as well have thrown their cash into the pull tab bin and hoped to god they got a fist full of redlines.

After I saw the field, and if I was a betting man (ahem) I would have set the line somewhere around 3-1 for me to win it and "No number was too big" to bet I would definitely cash at the final table.

After a few rounds, I knew I would never be outplayed here. I would just get screwed over by somebody saying "Well you gotta gamble" or some shit like that. Which is precisely what happened, but since this is my year of NEW zen like tranquility, I wasn't bugged a bit.

(It could have been worse, my Protege only got to play 3 hands before he was out when he out flopped AA with two pair, only to have the board pair on the river (back to back) leaving him to get drunk for the next four hours by himself. 

Well just like a great man once said,  "Sometimes Shit Don't Go Right.".

At least I hit a bounty on the way out, bringing my tournament from a $220 investment to only $20, so it ended up not being as horrible as it could have been. (So even with the $10 I gave Goldie to fill up on booze while he waited for me and tried to avoid getting knifed), less than one buy in at my daily "Office" tourney, so no big deal.

Dear Palace Casino,
Get your people some training, buy a tournament clock, learn how to use it, AND PLEASE DEAR GOD GET STACY FULSON A SANDWICH!
Give me a call when you do.

Today's Hourly Rate: -$7.00hr
I figured in gas in my hourly rate this time since it was so very, very far.

That's all I got,
raychihasspoken

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

General Contracting


You can stop worrying, I'm back.

No I haven't gone crazy(ier) from prolonged sleep deprivation, just taking a break from the daily grind (otherwise known as all the other useless crap in life that's not gambling.) Ray Chi hasn't been to "The Office" for awhile, so hence no office, no thrilling entries on my masterful play or devastating defeats at the tables.

You see sometimes you need just need a break. Maybe the cards aren't coming right or long shots are bombing and FN up your action. Maybe your playing like a jackass and need to reassess your game plan. Maybe you just need a little time to cleanse your palate and  "Get Your Ch'i Straight." 

Or maybe you're just broke and need some time to get some scratch together to get back into action. You see unlike your "job" where you just show up day in and day out doing whatever BS you people do in a cubicle and they (they being "THE MAN"), give you a paycheck, (I've heard of these, but it's been a while since I've actually SEEN one...) My "job" is vastly different. See just like "You can't build a house without tools", you can't make any money if you don't have any you can afford to wager.

Gambling is weird in that the tools of your trade are the exact same thing you are trying to acquire: Cold Hard Cash. You can't sit down at the tables, play any tournaments, or put together any well planned part-wheels at Hollywood Park. In fact without cash you can't do anything, put gas in your ride, have cocktails, take some honey out on the town, or pay bills, (notice how this is last on the list) NOTHING.
AND THAT SIR SUCKS.

One of my Minions dropped some pearls on me the other day;
"You know what would solve all of our problems?" 
"No. What?" I say waiting expectantly for this sacred knowledge.
"Being Born Rich."
No Shit.

So you do what you gotta do to get back in action; pick your spots, play smaller limits, place smaller wagers, play tighter, keep it simple, ( layoff the big multi race wagers and Superfecta plays), and try to build your bankroll back up to where you can get back in action, and in the style your accustomed to.

Or you do what I do, you get on the Hustle and beat the bushes for some cash, cause there's money out there you just have to get it. Call in some markers or rifle through some of your useless crap and see if you can sell it off on Craig's List, or theres always some professional enabling (pouring drinks) if all else fails.

Cause here's the deal, if you have an honest assessment of your own ability, a reasonable expectation of winning, AND the right R.O.I (return on investment) you should be playing, and you just need to figure out how to do it.

SO here's what you do: Frame out a solid foundation of some cash, grab your tools, and start hammering these fools.


How much are Mr. T lunchboxes going for on EBay?

That's all I got,
raychihasspoken

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Green is Good Yellow is Bad


Here is today's worksheet. The horses marked in green were either my "A's" or "B's" and were either included or could have been. The ones that are yellow with green lines are horses that cheated me out of my rightful victory, and I couldn't have picked even if all my other choices broke their legs, like all four of them.
Seriously.

This is the Sound of Me Failing

"BODY BLOW! BODY BLOW! UPPER CUT!"

Just like the old "Punch Out" arcade game that would drain my pockets of every last dime; this is how it feels when the two longest shots on the board, (21-1 and 19-1) run 1st and 2nd to ruin NOT ONLY my chance for a future-changing Pick 6 score, bragging rights FOREVER, AND finally achieving my life long dream of taking a bath in Crown Royal, BUT ALSO any remaining self respect or street cred I might save by hitting some saver consols. "KNOCK OUT!"

THERE IS A REASON PEOPLE PLAY THE Pick 6, however elusive it may be: HUGE, HUGE sums of money for the low, low price of only $2. (Although if anyone could ever go perfect (x6) without all favorites and hit the Pick 6, they would be the BIGGEST PIMP ON PLANT EARTH!) That is why, barring of course my ever shrinking bankroll considerations, I will keep playing it ESPECIALLY on carryover days, and so will thousands and thousands of other people. 

I always say that handicapping horses is like trying to solve a REALLY HARD crossword puzzle, (that happens to be alive and may not feel like running today) that pays you big money when your right. Well the Pick 6 is like Sudoku humped a Rubik's Cube, was forced to life by Dr. Frankenstein, who pumped it full of Dianabol, AND NOW IT WANTS TO TRAMPLE YOUR ASS.

Everyday millions and millions of people around the globe play the Lotto with almost ZERO chance of ever winning. IT IS ACTUALLY POSSIBLE, to hit the Pick 6 if you know what your doing, have enough money that you're not too attached to, and of course vital to your success, HAVE A BIT OF GOOD LUCK. The Pick 6 gets hit just about every day and the days when it doesn't, then there is a carry over and that makes EVEN MORE PEOPLE PLAY, but even if its only a measly $30 or $40k, IT IS ACHIEVABLE AND I'M PLANNING ON HITTING ONE. That goddamn Mel Fisher took 16 long years to find the Atocha, SO DON'T COUNT ME OUT YET, I'm getting back up.

So if you know Ray Chi you already know this, but when I do FINALLY hit one....Drinks are on me. FOREVER!

Five Lucky Bastards won $552,535 today with $600,000 in consolation tickets, let's keep swinging. Thanks as always to my faithful parlay partners.

Today's Hourly Rate: -$43.33hr
(For those of you following along, this month is NOT going well. I wonder how late they buy Plasma...)

That's all I got,
raychihasspoken


Belmont Park Pick 6 Carryover - Final Tickets

OK here it is....(I didn't make the super easy, perfect-perfect "C" ticket I usually do, cause I ran out of time when they moved up post time, weird). The 6th and 7th legs were the toughest for me, so cross your fingers and I luckily got another $20 parlay participant to defray costs in GZ.




AND THEY ARE OFF!
raychihasspoken

Belmont Park $930,495 Carryover - Budget Edition

Man it's Early!
Ray Chi doesn't like to be out of the sack before noon, so my blaring alarm at 6:45am wasn't exactly ideal for my sunny disposition, but duty (and big paper) calls, so onward.

I've about dialed in the big Pick 6 carryover left after the wasteland that was Belmont Stakes day, and now all I need to do is pound some more caffeine and formulate some tickets! We've got a modest parlay pool today, A-Dog, Genny, Robyone, (and if I get on the Hustle I can probably get a few more) who are riding high as a kite on the coattails of our last HUGE score, (ahem, I believe everyone made about $9 bucks)...

ANYWAY, let's not worry about little things like details. I feel good about this one, and as Mel Fisher always said, "Today is the day!"

Seriously. "Today IS the Day."
I'll try to put up my final tickets before post time.

That's all I got,
raychihasspoken

Monday, June 7, 2010

Belmont Stakes Blowout - 2010

Um Yeah,

You do everything you can to prepare for a big race day. You watch the key prep races, pour over the work out reports, try to decipher any clues from the plethora of pre-race articles, (of course check what Beyer and Crist think), and then most importantly: You grab a tasty beverage, sit down, and you get comfortable with the Daily Racing Form for about 8 hours and do your homework!

Sometimes though, even if you've done all of the things you are supposed to do, it all still goes horribly wrong.

I definitely can not remember a time in the over a decade I've been betting on the Triple Crown, that the favorite got smoked by some ridiculous long shot, this many times on one day. There were even a few of the races, (including the Belmont), that the favorite was out of the money all together!

So this is what I always do in the eyes of defeat, (I mean BESIDES drinking 15 glasses of Bourbon by myself with the shades drawn), I go home, open The Form, I look at my notes, and see how I could have possibly whiffed so badly. How did I miss that horse? Why when I was formulating all of my bets, wasn't that horse included? Was there something I overlooked, forgot, misread, or am I just a total Jackass? (Don't answer it's a rhetorical question.)

So that is what I did and you know what, I couldn't have picked ANY of those horses in races 9-13. None of them.
  • Champagne d'Oro - Too slow, and far superior competition in the race.
  • Winchester - Seriously? Against Gio Ponti AND Court Vision? C'mon!
  • Drosselmeyer - Um let's see, hasn't had a 1st place since January, is spotting 11 Beyer points to Ice Box, AND had continuous sore leg problems AND was working out in bar shoes?
  •  (Um, pass whatever your smokin buddy, cause it must be the good stuff.)
  • J L Bernstein /Ezzy - (Ray Chi's spirit was broken, so he left and didn't watch, but a 10-1 and 17-1 culminated in a $6,884 Pick 3 and a $349,628 Pick 4. WOW.)
Just remember it's a horse race, and anything can happen. Sometimes you just get blown out by a 39.5-1 shot who goes wire to wire, (even though he was only like the 8th fastest horse, ran a bounced 60(!) in his last race, and had been beaten ALREADY by one the races' leading contenders, BUT he probably got a slap-shot on the ass of Crystal Meth before he ran.) It happens. BUT does it happen ALL DAY on Belmont Stakes day? No not really. So shake it off and have a cocktail or ten, stop being such a baby, and get back up on the horse.

Seriously, there's a $930,495 carryover on Wednesday and I've got work to do. Who's up for a Parlay?

Today's Hourly Rate: - $50.50hr


That's all I got,
raychihasspoken

Playing the Rush and the Perfect Storm

What's up? I had an EPIC day on Wednesday! It was the kind of day every gambler loves; I went on a huge rush and made a bunch of money.

After being unjustly knocked out of my daily a.m tourney by my arch rival "Smokey B", who out flopped my AA v.s QQ with a Q for all my chips...it was time to sit down a make some money the hard way.

It was the "Perfect Storm" that made the rush happen. The most important aspect was, I woke up with a positive winning attitude, then the game had the perfect mix of players; loose AND aggressive, some horrible, and very importantly some skilled, (i.e. they had the ability to lay hands down when they were beat or at least thought they were), combine that with a run of some good cards that connected with the flop,  mix in some getting lucky and BOOM! Money.

There are three very important things to remember when playing a rush, and years of not listening to myself has me dropping some bullet points on y'all for the benefit of your wallets.
  • First of all do just thatPLAY THE HELL OUT OF IT. The entire game I was reluctant to give in to it and still played my semi-normal style, throwing away a long string of winners that I should have capitalized on, but didn't because they weren't in my normal range. BOOO! 

  • KNOW WHEN THE RUSH IS OVER. When it's over, it's over, and overplaying your rush can have serious detrimental effects to your bottom line. Sometimes when you are in the heat of battle, you forget to take into effect the changing composition of the game, make sure to notice if the mix of players has changed, tightened up, or gone broke, so you can adjust your flow accordingly. You want to hammer it when it's there and hit the bar when it's over.  

  • DON'T KILL THE GOLDEN GOOSE. Try not to be a dick. It sucks to lose money and these people are doing it right now. You've gotta keep the game light and laughing, maybe check the river with your total lock, buy a drink or two, pretend to misread your hand or something, who cares! Just keep them there, all of them. You want to do anything in your power to keep the rush going, just like this, forever. Besides if you piss people off, they'll try to kill your rush and break your spirit by calling down every hand out of spite, and that you don't want.
Well I overplayed my rush and got knocked out of my p.m tourney early for playing like a jackass, but all in all a great day. It would probably help if I listened to my own advice. Well I better get this money to my landlord....

Today's Hourly Rate: $42hr

That's all I got,
raychihasspoken