Every Bet Every Track Every Time - 5 DAY DERBY COUNTDOWN!

Hello there my Faithful Few,

WE ARE ONLY 5 DAYS AWAY FROM THE GREATEST DAY IN SPORTS (NO NOT THE DAMN SUPERBOWL OR SOME LAME NBA WHATEVER), I'M TALKING ABOUT A  REAL SPORTING EVENT, SOMETHING THAT MATTERS…

THE 140TH RUNNING OF THE KENTUCKY DERBY!

I CAN'T WAIT TILL SATURDAY, and the ensuing triumphs and tragedies that always accompany the First Saturday in May, (and of course Ray Chi's Annual Superfecta predictions and winning ticket play-by-plays), but more on that later…

This is about something that is important for all of us Race Fans and in my humble opinion, the future of the sport-Uniform Medication Rules (this entry dovetails nicely with "A Polite Response to Mr. Andrew Beyer") and Every Bet Every Track Every Time.

The NTRA and the The Jockey Club have written a great proposal and petition for unified medication rules, testing accreditation, and penalty guidelines that is a great first step in the fight to standardize the entire Horse Racing industry and bring some much needed order the convoluted mess that is "regulation" in the industry. I truly believe without standardizing medication, the way and timing of how it is administered, and the punishments of rule breakers, that our sport will wither away and die.
We need this so please do your part for our beloved sport and sign the petition today!

Read the entire letter from the NTRA
Sign the Jockey Club Petition Today!

OK enough of the soapbox, more witty insights and ranting later this week….

Thats All I Got,
raychihasspoken

A Polite Response to Mr. Andrew Beyer

Hello Faithful Few, this post is in response to an article I read today in the Daily Racing Form by way of the Washington Post entitled "Andrew Beyer: Racing industry keeps horseplayers off balance" about how confusing race conditions are hurting the racing industries access to new players.  http://www.drf.com/news/andrew-beyer-racing-industry-keeps-horseplayers-balance

Mr. Andrew Beyer,

(You by the way are one of my personal heroes and the person responsible for getting me into Horse racing in the first place, so thank you.)

I agree with your article that this is a confusing part of the game, but this is really only a concern for the advanced player as a new bettor is far too overwhelmed to even worry about conditions or types of races, and it is a much broader problem that we face. The sport is dying, literally as the average age of a serious horseplayer is somewhere around 65, (I am usually the youngest person at the OTB and I am by no means young...) Without attracting new players either casual or serious the sport will all but disappear in a few short years, or be merely a sideline to the slot machines and other games of chance and non-skill.

The game becomes more and more clouded and shady every race and the final results increasingly baffling and unbelievable, couple that with larger and larger take outs, and it is making the game all but un-winnable, save for large syndicates with ocean deep pockets. The serious Handicapper who does somehow manage to win, is seeing his winnings, (and R.O.I ) get smaller and smaller and then there are the taxes...so you are literally shrinking your pool of players by reducing their piece of the pie every single day.

In my humble opinion, what we need to save the sport is threefold:

1. Standards, Regulations and Uniformity in the the Sport:
   Testing, testing, testing, permissible drug use, race conditions, take-out, Stewardship, EVERYTHING, the same at every track, every state, everywhere. If the new bettor knows what to expect and that it is a level playing field state to state or track to track, Every Bet, Every Track, Every Time, it will instill confidence in the sport and encourage new dollars to the game.
   
   
2. Reduce Take Out across the Sport and Set Uniform Standards and Maximums:
   I know what your thinking;” The tracks aren’t making any money so they need bigger and bigger take outs to survive.” I'm sorry but it is exactly the opposite. If the race track gets15%-36% out of every dollar wagered off the top, and the average bettor isn't winning, he has less and less to wager every race and then eventually is left with nothing and no urge to return or frequent his local race track. If the take out was lowered and standardized you would return more of the bettors dollars to them every bet, giving them more dollars to put into circulation, and more money left for food, drink etc. By lessening the bite on the bettor, they would have more dollars to play longer, and more impetus to return again, and again. Would you as the track rather get 36% one time or 10% many, many times, (it should be an easy answer?)
   
   2b} Standardized Take Out means Standardized Take Out:
   Why does the track take more of a bite out of the Exotic Wager and less out of straight W/P/S wagers when it is infinitely more difficult to hit exotics and the bulk of the betting done by causal bettors are straight W/P/S wagers? The take out should be the same, Every Bet, Every Track, Every Time. I suggest a more than fair flat 10% take out structure for every wager. If you lower the vig on all types of wagers, especially exotics you are are going to increase the likelihood of the inexperienced bettor making these types of wagers thus increasing dollars in the pools, thereby creating a cascade effect by the serious handicapper spending more on these bets trying to scoop up all that “uneducated money” and then increasing the over all handle, not once- but continuously. Why does one bet cost more than another anyway?
   
   
3. Redesigned Approach to Marketing:
   I was lucky enough to cross of an item from my Bucket List a few years ago and went to the Breeders Cup, 95% of the people I told I was going did not know what it was, or had never even heard of it, and that is a MAJOR problem and roadblock to market when the general public doesn't even know about their sports biggest event after 31 years of running it.
   The industry has done a good job of starting to use Social Media and the like to reach out to the younger audience they crave and need to survive, but the came late to the party and they need to step it up if they want to be here 10 years from now. They need to make a concentrated effort to market to younger potential players by changing their entire strategy from an insider to an outsiders perspective. Assume who you are marketing to knows nothing, not one single thing about Horse Racing and then go from there. They need to focus the ads somewhere where young people are, and not where the Horseplayers already are; spots during The Voice, or Big Bang Theory, or during the W.S.O.P on ESPN for gods sake! Reach out to Fraternities and Fantasy Leagues, and any other group with a high propensity for competition, not necessarily gambling and then the dollars will cross over. Have beginners clinics at Every Track, Every Time and partner with younger, hipper sponsors to cross market, offset cost and establish a brand, you know 101 marketing stuff, cmon! If the average Joe (or Jill) doesn't even know about Horse racing how are you going to get them to go to the track, little alone spend their hard earned dollars on wagers they don't understand, just to have the track take a massive chunk right off the top, and then maybe not get paid when they win(...Rainbow-6 anyone?)

The industry needs to branch out, think outside the oval, and get standardized if they want to survive, it is that simple. The general public, average bettor, heck even the serious bettor feels the sport is almost un-winnable and the overwhelming perception is that it is fixed, and what type of a race or the convoluted conditions surrounding it are a far more advanced problem then the larger one facing our beloved sport. Every other major sport has the same rules and regulations no matter where their games are held, why not Horse racing?

Every Bet, Every Track, Every Time, or else.

Mr. Beyer thank you for your continued contribution to the sport of Horse racing, you are and will always be THE MAN.

That's All I Got,

-raychihasspoken

BREEDERS CUP SATURDAY 2013

Hello Faithful Few,

Well another championship Breeders Cup weekend is in the books and I gotta tell you one of the coolest things about it was my new Lucky hat! 

For a very limited time every year the Breeders Cup Shop lets you not only get a cool hat, BUT GET IT CUSTOM EMBROIDERED AS WELL with whatever 14 letters your little heart desires, so what better then to rep my magical adventure on the inter web!

Anyway I also hooked up my faithful Parlay Partners with some sweet headgear to wear while they are rooting along at home for our giant payoffs to start rolling in, (or just to wear while tossing back 8 or 9 Bourbons in Madrid and find out what happened later...ahem.) 

Details to follow but I will leave with this teaser to tantalize you into reading the thrilling next entry, but let me just say this; 

Gary Stevens RULES and...

  

This is the only time this is a good message…

Thats all I got,

raychihasspoken

I WON'T HAVE ANOTHER-TRIPLE CROWN WINNER

In a pretty shocking announcement trainer Doug O'neill has scratched Triple Crown hopeful and overwhelming odds on favorite I'LL HAVE ANOTHER from the Belmont Stakes. O'neill cited  tendonitis in an early a.m interview stating;

“He’s got tendonitis in his left front tendon,” O’Neill said. “He’s not 100 percent and I ain’t taking any chances.”

With everything on the line and what a Triple Crown winner would mean for the connections and the sport, O'neill must be the most responsible horseman in history, ( or someone slipped him an enormous envelope full of unmarked bills...) I believe a staggering amount of trainers would try to roll the dice and risk a catastrophic injury for a shot at history. 

So what that means is...Dullahan will likely be the new morning line favorite and I've got work to do.

Good Luck and that's all I got,
raychihasspoken 

Preakness Play by Play 2011 Part 2

Here's my Preakness Day Pick 4
9th)   2,5,6
10th) 1,2,5
11th) 1,4,6
12th) 4,6,8,9,11
Notice the COMPLETE absence of the 5 horse in The Preakness? #5 Shackelford crushed Ray Chi and his Loyal Parlay Partners hopes and dreams of absolute victory today, along with this ticket and other 2 Pick 3 tickets we were live to, oh well back to the drawing board.

Preakness Play by Play

Wow I'm not sure what time it is there, but here it's pretty damn early!
I decided to skip the Pick 5 after looking at past years pay outs and concentrate on the late Pick 4's, and inter race exotics.

Here's my action so far, I'll exclude the losing tickets for now (I'll post total action later)
Race#8
$2 Superfecta 5,7w/3,5,6,7w/3,5,6,7w/3,5,6,7 ($24) = +$1,304
.10 SFBX 3,5,6,7 ($2.40) = +$64.01
$10 Ex 5 W/6,7 ($20) = +$439

this is just the beginning.....

PREAKNESS PARLAY 2011

What's up race fans?

Sorry for the long gap in posts but "THE MAN" has his boot firmly on my neck and I've been gasping for air and trying to claw my way out from under it. Who knew moving to a tropical paradise could be so god damn stressful?

Anyway I'm waaayyy behind on posts and I'll be putting up an out of order retrospective in the next few days, (it'll be all Tarantino-esque where the end is first and then you go back to the beginning and everyone dies.) No not like that, but some cool crazy shit happens, so stay tuned.

Let's get down to whats important, and that's money.

The 2nd leg of the Triple Crown the Preakness Stakes is tomorrow and Ray Chi and his homey's are on a POWER HOUSE RE-PARLAY AND ARE GOING TO PRESS IT THE WHOLE WAY!
After our modest Derby win ( please see "a win is a win") I managed to hammer the Post Derby Carryover Day at Churchill and we are flush with cash and ready to parlay our way to fame, fortune, and a bath tub full of Bourbon! Trust me in that this will be the biggest day of action yet.

Even though the math on the re-parlay took 17 emails and enough math to make a M.E.N.S.A member recoil in shock and horror, I think we've ( and by we I mean A-Dog) got it figured out and I'm now ready to build a mountain of tickets with enough R.O.I to make us call Geneva and fuel the jet.

Stay tuned for tomorrows expert selections from Ray Chi, my well diversified betting menu, colorful play by play action, and as always well placed profanity...

But here is Ray Chi's teaser Superfecta prediction, pre-scratches, crazy calculations and last minute Hail -Mary's

Mucho Macho Man, Sway Away, Animal Kingdom, Dialed In/King Congie

That's all I got, good luck.
raychihasspoken

Zen and the Art of Stopping Pilates

What's up people?
Sorry lack of an Internet connection has spaced out my entries, never fear hijacked Wi-Fi to the rescue!

Just got back from an EPIC 3 day adventure in retardation in the middle of Lake Roosevelt for my buddy The HighRoader's Bachelor Clown Fest.

Now most bachelor parties are hastily thrown together "events" with 5 or 6 of your slovenly buddies trying to out drink each other in After Shock shots, while stuffing your weeks allowance from your wife into some dirty strippers g-string and hoping to god she provides "extra services." Or worse yet slogging to and fro various watering holes dragging around a fake ball and chain and a shirt that says "Last Night of Freedom" but really should say, "I left my self respect at E.E Robbins".

So those kind of parties suck A LOT. Why would you want your Bro's last single night to be a exercise in embarrassment and degradation? He's already blown it by getting married and is going to get plenty of that from the Mrs. everyday of his life on the way to: Soccer practice, Home Depot, or Bed Bath and Beyond ( "...not sure if we'll have time, kind of a big day tomorrow".)

UM NO. The single life send off should be one of the most positive, well planned, ridiculous, off the chart experiences of your life! You should do it in style, do it right, go big, and above all remember: This is (supposedly) a once in a life time experience and should be treated accordingly! NO this is not the time to text your girlfriend constant updates, "No dear. No strippers still..." "No no hard alcohol, just beer like you said...," "Hi just checking in about checking in." (ahem Best Man.) This isn't the time to be worrying about all the work you need to do at your crappy job ON MONDAY which is 3 days from now, C'MON! The only thing you should be thinking about is making sure your Bro has the most kick ass time possible and how you are going to do it.

So please feel free to use The HighRoader's Clown Fest as a blueprint to victory: NO don't ask your wife/Mom if you can "please, please have a party in the basement if you promise not to get too rowdy and swear you'll clean up." DO rent yourselves a 60ft BALLER house boat equipped with hot tub and water slide, drive it out in the middle of a ginormous lake in the middle of I don't know where, fill it full of cases and cases of alcohol, kegs on CO2, 3 days of gourmet food, more booze, inflatable floating animals, the dopest Waking Boarding Boat I've ever seen, even MORE booze, and 20 of the most fearless retards to ever walk the earth and you've got yourself a party worth talking about.

So what do you do if you're Ray Chi on a boat with a bunch of extreme athletes half your age to show 'em that "You started this Gangsta shit"? Well you tie the hose off the top deck and repel over the bow with the hose in hand ala DIE HARD to the deck below to spray down the surprised and astonished attendees, most of whom you just met, before you leave the marina. That's what.

SIDEBAR: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME OR ANYWHERE ELSE UNLESS YOU ARE RAY CHI OR BRUCE WILLIS!!! Not exactly sure if it was the bottle of Crown Royal the 4 of us polished off on the 5 hour drive up, the 3 hours of sleep the night before, or just plain stupidity, but I failed to realize that the "hose" was nothing more than an extra long kitchen sprayer AND NOT a typical garden hose that would have easily supported Mr. Chi's extra-husky frame. SO it snapped mid rappel....but due to my amazing knack for repeatedly cheating death OR possibly my cat-like reflexes, I managed to not dump it in the water and be run over by the boat and chopped to bits by the enormous props. I also managed to avoid landing on the solid metal railing causing massive amounts of pain, and most likely trip-ending paralysis, but instead landed squarely on my feet amid said crowd of bewildered dudes with water streaming out of the broken hose and everyone wondering what the F just happened?!?! MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

So since that little stunt was unsuccessful, what would somebody who almost died do next? Sit back, have a cocktail and lick your wounds? UM NO, promptly go right back up to the top deck and take a running dive over the stern with zero warning, and over the heads of more startled onlookers. NEVER FEAR READERS, my uncanny ability to cheat death prevailed and I miraculously survived "unscathed", (of course not realizing there was a 4ft swim platform BEYOND the 5ft of deck I had to clear in order to successfully land in water and not on the oh so unforgiving fiberglass.)

SIDEBAR: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME OR ANYWHERE ELSE UNLESS YOU ARE RAY CHI OR BRUCE WILLIS!!! So in this case "unscathed" means failing about madly mid-air to avoid grievous harm and landing in the water, no less than a 1/2 inch from a neck snapping and SOMEHOW only slightly scraping your arm in the process. YES it was that close. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

The Best Man called this display "Prison Style", which I wholeheartedly agreed with. This means when you go to Prison all of the popular literature tells you to immediately find the biggest, meanest, most terrifying con and precede to publicly beat the piss out of him and/or shank him in the yard. This sets the tone for your stay letting the other convicts know that you are not to be "punked", traded for cigarettes or whatever. So by me setting the bar on bad ideas so instantly into the trip, I have thusly been assured a safe voyage and let the other fools know who they are dealing with, (and that I will not be "punked", traded for cigarettes or whatever.) MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

Usually one dude per trip goes off the reservation and does something severely wacko, granted that person is usually me, so imagine my surprise to be on a boat full of 'em. I've never been on any trip, anywhere where there is not a single person that is the voice of reason. Someone ALWAYS says the fate full phrase, "Maybe this isn't such a good idea..?" These words were never spoken.

The Die Hard off the bow was just the beginning for these clowns:
Standing 25ft sand dune jump to 1ft in front of huge bonfire, check.
2am Wake Surfing session with nothing on but a life jacket and a headlamp, check.
Reverse back flip off 30ft rope swing, check.
Drunken back flip of 50ft train trestle, check
Standing rubber raft tug of war, check.
Midnight pitch black group train trestle jump with only head lamp, check.
Reverse Alligator to face plant on water slide, check.
Daylight group jump of 60ft bridge while filming video on way down, check.
ZERO SERIOUS INJURIES, CHECK
45 minute black out lecture from The Wizzle about sex with Grandmas, politics, and how to properly get a Orca to give you a blow job, priceless.
All in all a thoroughly successful adventure and a How-To for Bachelor Party's.

So let this be a lesson to all of you: Your buddies last blast before kissing the single life goodbye should not be taken lightly by you, him or anyone involved! Do your best to plan an event worthy of the death of fun by going flat out BESERKER with your bros and maybe, just maybe if you try hard enough, and add enough booze you too can "...bottle the essence of The Wizzle and stop Pilates."

Congrats to The HighRoader and I'll see you bastards in Kauai.

That's all I got,
raychihasspoken   

Take Your Beating Like a Man

I "played" in a $5,000 Freeroll tournament at "The Office" on Sunday and got the elite distinction of being the 3rd person out.

Usually you would think sitting down and finding QQ for your very first hand of the tournament would be a good sign...well that's what you would think. The problem wasn't lack of hands during my brief 23 minutes stint in this event, it was plain old bad luck and lots of it. I actually got a disproportionate amount of premium hands, the kind of run you hope and dream about, and here's the part where I say, "but the odds were against me today", but then I would be totally lying.

You see sometimes, the odds are WITH YOU and you still lose, sometimes somebody else does something that costs you money, and sometimes you just get unlucky, cause no matter how much skill you think you have, there IS still luck and random chance involved.  "Sometimes shit don't go right."

I won't bore you with the play by play details of my contrarian defeats but here are the hands I received IN ORDER and the results:
QQ(w)
1010(w),
JJ(L-This was the crippler and left me with only $1,100 chips, on the third hand of the tournament!)
AA(w)
KQ(l)
KJ(l)
55(f)
KK(l)
OUT!

The point of all this isn't to write about yet another bad beat story, it's to write about something else entirely,
Losing.

You can pick up a ton of books that talk about how to win, what to do when you win, how to win more, but none of them really addresses the worst and one of the hardest parts of the game; taking a beating like a man.

I truly feel that besides natural skill and reading your opponents, being able to handle beats is absolutely vital to your success at the tables. If you can't routinely shake off beats, (bad or otherwise), and if you can't handle the many, many ways you get screwed over in this game (often through no fault of your own), then you should probably just stop playing right now and go play kickball or something. 

If you can't handle losing, then your going to steam off all your money, go on tilt or try to "Get that Jackass back" by playing back at them when you have the worst of it. Or your going to fall victim to what I have always had trouble with; becoming totally distracted by endlessly pondering how someone could possible play that horribly, or why god hates you. (Trust me I'm working on it.)

It is only when you can accept the weight of the the fact that even if you are the best player, even if you do everything correctly, even if you are statistically the favorite to win, sometimes it just doesn't work out that way. Just take a deep breath, blow it off, slug down that cocktail, and get ready for the next time it happens, cause trust me Brother it won't be the last.

Today's Hourly Rate: -$55.28hr

That's all I got,
raychihasspoken

Ticket Maker App From Daily Racing Form

Just like they say, "There's an App for that." Well guess what they ain't kidding.

I just downloaded the new Ticket Maker App for my Iphone from that goddamn genius and personal hero of mine Steven Crist of The Daily Racing Form, and man I think it's going to make my next day of handicapping a WHOLE lot easier.

So lemme tell you how it works, you know all those chicken scratch scribblings you see me doing, after I've dissected that days races and I'm trying to put together my betting ticket? YEAH THIS DOES IT FOR ME!
I just plug in the possible contenders as "A's, B's, C's or X's", pick the kind of wager I want to make, (of course it does multi-race wagers), MY BUDGET, your betting unit, and it formulates all of your possible ticket combo's for you!

GOD IT RULES! Not only does it save me time, which is vital, but it also makes it easy to save tickets, email them to yourself (or your trusty parlay partners), AND GIVES YOU A CALL OUT SCREEN SO YOU CAN JUST GO TO THE WINDOW AND READ IT OFF TO THE TELLER! I swear to god if this App could put ice and bourbon in a glass and hand it to me I'd probably marry it.

So anyway, it's definitely not as life changing as the first time I saw Lisa Hutchins jog across the soccer field in her pink angora sweater back in 5th grade.....but it's up there.

Check it out race fans:
http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/ticketmaker/id367643869?mt=8

There is also a version you can use just on your home computer: http://www.drf.com/formulator/ticketmaker.html

That's all I got,
raychihasspoken

Road Tripped

Let me make sure I understand this correctly,

You're having a Poker Tournament, WITH Bounties if I knock out certain players, PLUS a Playboy Playmate there hosting? Oh and there IS a bar right? So hmmm Poker, cash, hot chick, and booze...have I died and gone to heaven? (No because you're in Tacoma for one, two she's blond and maybe 90lbs, and c. if there is a heaven, you're DEFINITELY NOT going to it!)

So Palace Casino in Lakewood of all places, (basically drive to crap town and keep going till it sucks more, and it's on your right) was holding a $20,000 Tourney with bounties for $220 which is pretty big for this kind of venue and I thus assumed people would be playing out of their element, so I'd have a little edge. (Besides the fact that mere mortals aren't accustomed to being around Playboy models on a regular basis, so they may be a bit distracted, unlike of course yours truly), so with Protege in tow I made the trek.

I'm going to cliff note this for you. I didn't win.

I got to about 25th out of 78 and got taken out by one of the many HIGH QUALITY players there with his AMAZING ALL IN call of 17,000 chips with K8 off suit vs my A10 of clubs, (and if you think he had a read on me, I'm pretty sure the Sunday comics were above his capacity, so no. AND NO. I'M NOT JOKING.)

That being said, I wasn't the least bit surprised. This was one of the most stressful tournaments I've ever played in, and not because of the usual pressures involved, because this was one of the worst run, disorganized, amateurish tournaments I've every had the misfortune to attend, and with one of the weakest fields to boot. (BESIDES the hour and a half drive in rush hour traffic in the boiling sun, yeah besides that.)

Here is the part where I bore and baffle you all with the many ways this casino did not understand how to run a tournament this big, (or maybe even ANY tournament) and...ACTION:

Nobody knowing who was in charge, wrong number of seats at the tables, not preparing for players to come in after we started, dealers who had OBVIOUSLY never dealt a tournament EVER, a random draw for bounty players where a selected player didn't want to be the bounty and THEY LET HIM DECLINE, no tournament clock, not stopping the clock when there were issues, letting moved players skip blinds by not making sure they were in their seats when being moved, not understanding how to race chips, the Playboy bunny being WAY less attractive than advertised, arbitrarily not enforcing the "over the line rule", but most importantly of all these stupid things was the EXCRUCIATINGLY SLOW PACE OF THE DEALERS.

Suffice it to say, I've seen smoother run tourneys AT MY HOUSE full of drunken fools after 17 shot's of Austrian Kryptonite and 2 hours sleep the night before.

The snails pace of this thing was KILLING ME! The thing about tournaments as opposed to live play is that you are on a clock. The blinds keep rising round after round, so you need to get some hands you can play and you need to try to see as many hands per hour as possible in order to just stay a float. Well when your only getting about 9-10 hands a round, it's a bit tough to pick up any steam, (compared to approx 18-28hph average.)

Maybe $220 isn't a lot of coin in Lakewood, but where I'm from it buys a lot of bourbon, so I'm pretty confused at the ridiculous level of play of these people. I mean they sucked. They may as well have thrown their cash into the pull tab bin and hoped to god they got a fist full of redlines.

After I saw the field, and if I was a betting man (ahem) I would have set the line somewhere around 3-1 for me to win it and "No number was too big" to bet I would definitely cash at the final table.

After a few rounds, I knew I would never be outplayed here. I would just get screwed over by somebody saying "Well you gotta gamble" or some shit like that. Which is precisely what happened, but since this is my year of NEW zen like tranquility, I wasn't bugged a bit.

(It could have been worse, my Protege only got to play 3 hands before he was out when he out flopped AA with two pair, only to have the board pair on the river (back to back) leaving him to get drunk for the next four hours by himself. 

Well just like a great man once said,  "Sometimes Shit Don't Go Right.".

At least I hit a bounty on the way out, bringing my tournament from a $220 investment to only $20, so it ended up not being as horrible as it could have been. (So even with the $10 I gave Goldie to fill up on booze while he waited for me and tried to avoid getting knifed), less than one buy in at my daily "Office" tourney, so no big deal.

Dear Palace Casino,
Get your people some training, buy a tournament clock, learn how to use it, AND PLEASE DEAR GOD GET STACY FULSON A SANDWICH!
Give me a call when you do.

Today's Hourly Rate: -$7.00hr
I figured in gas in my hourly rate this time since it was so very, very far.

That's all I got,
raychihasspoken

Playing the Rush and the Perfect Storm

What's up? I had an EPIC day on Wednesday! It was the kind of day every gambler loves; I went on a huge rush and made a bunch of money.

After being unjustly knocked out of my daily a.m tourney by my arch rival "Smokey B", who out flopped my AA v.s QQ with a Q for all my chips...it was time to sit down a make some money the hard way.

It was the "Perfect Storm" that made the rush happen. The most important aspect was, I woke up with a positive winning attitude, then the game had the perfect mix of players; loose AND aggressive, some horrible, and very importantly some skilled, (i.e. they had the ability to lay hands down when they were beat or at least thought they were), combine that with a run of some good cards that connected with the flop,  mix in some getting lucky and BOOM! Money.

There are three very important things to remember when playing a rush, and years of not listening to myself has me dropping some bullet points on y'all for the benefit of your wallets.

• First of all do just that, PLAY THE HELL OUT OF IT. The entire game I was reluctant to give in to it and still played my semi-normal style, throwing away a long string of winners that I should have capitalized on, but didn't because they weren't in my normal range. BOOO! 

• KNOW WHEN THE RUSH IS OVER. When it's over, it's over, and overplaying your rush can have serious detrimental effects to your bottom line. Sometimes when you are in the heat of battle, you forget to take into effect the changing composition of the game, make sure to notice if the mix of players has changed, tightened up, or gone broke, so you can adjust your flow accordingly. You want to hammer it when it's there and hit the bar when it's over.  

• DON'T KILL THE GOLDEN GOOSE. Try not to be a dick. It sucks to lose money and these people are doing it right now. You've gotta keep the game light and laughing, maybe check the river with your total lock, buy a drink or two, pretend to misread your hand or something, who cares! Just keep them there, all of them. You want to do anything in your power to keep the rush going, just like this, forever. Besides if you piss people off, they'll try to kill your rush and break your spirit by calling down every hand out of spite, and that you don't want.

Well I overplayed my rush and got knocked out of my p.m tourney early for playing like a jackass, but all in all a great day. It would probably help if I listened to my own advice. Well I better get this money to my landlord....

Today's Hourly Rate: $42hr

That's all I got,
raychihasspoken

Dear Sir, Please Turn Over Your Man Card

I saw a disturbing item on my friend Shag's refrigerator the other day, an invite to a "Couple's Arrival Party." What the???

HERE'S THE DEAL:   Just because they're calling it an "Couples Arrival Party" doesn't mean shit, it's still a baby shower and you Sir, shouldn't be there.

Let's go a step further, there is not a single heterosexual man on planet earth that WANTS to go to a baby shower. NO, NO, I don't care what he told you to keep getting laid, (or he may have went and then he used it as a bargaining chip to go to some unnamed guy event later) NO, I'm going tell you something: He didn't want to go, he didn't have fun, AND all his friends made fun of him for going.
A-LOT.

Hey Man, I don't care how your woman/the expectant father spun it to you, "Oh man, there's lots of guys going!", " Dude, we'll totally do our own thing, separate from the girls!" , "Bro! C'mon! We'll have beers, smoke cigars, and play cards downstairs, I talked to (insert expectant mothers name here) and she said it's totally cool!" YEAH RIGHT!

You know that's not gonna happen! The girls are all gonna be in the front room cooing and giggling and rubbing the bump and shit. You'll be with the other eunuchs in the kitchen trying to power through the Michelob Ultra and wondering how long till you can sneak off and watch Shogun beat the piss out of Machida, and it then it happens....

The baby mafia huddle up and start tearing opening gifts, and it's allllll over for you suckas...."Oh Sugar Dumpling, come in here and see this, it's sooo cute!" ,"Hey Snuggles! You havvve to watch  (insert expectant mothers name here) open the gift we got her!" ," Oh you guys can watch the gifts AND THEN you guys can play cards! GET IN HERE." Next thing you know your eating a steaming pile of candy crap in a diaper and hoping to god you can decide whether its Baby Ruth or Snickers. Seriously that happens.

FOR FUTURE REFERENCE NOT ALL ACTIVITIES ARE CO-ED. PLEASE LEAVE YOUR GIRL AT HOME FOR THE FOLLOWING:
Monday Night Poker Games, Triple Crown Race Days, and Greenwood Car Show Epic Day Drunks.
-Thanks.

PLEASE FEEL FREE to check the "Sorry can not attend" box on the invite of the next "Couples Arrival Party", "Bumpfest", or whatever the hell they are calling it, get on the phone to the other dudes not going and you could probably get a pretty good game going. Here's what to do, if it says "We are registered at Baby Gap", reach down, grab your balls, and just say NO.

Try it a few times, it just gets easier.

That's all I got,
raychihasspoken

AND WE'RE OFF!

Hi. My first real post for this so let's cross our fingers and hope I don't get mocked off the interweb. Pipe Dreams On Paper is going to be all about me, (so I can think of at least ONE person who'll LOVE IT)  my strong opinions, ruminations and rumblings, and continuous self reflection and diagnoses of well.....
JUST WHAT THE HELL I DID WRONG.

 How horribly did I really play that last hand? What was the reason I didn't box the three horses I liked all along in a easy $12 Trifecta that ended up paying $2,337.40? How did I so miserably fail in that last tournament by busting out on the bubble again. Seriously.

Why, you may ask? Well probably because I'm a glutton for punishment, a "kick-me player" (look it up), a life-long self-saboteur, but mostly because I'm just a narcissistic bastard who isn't satisfied just listening to himself talk anymore, now I have to read it too.  Sheesh!

While all that may be true... the real reason is to learn, because if you don't learn from your mistakes you are doomed to repeat them...forever.  Hopefully, if we can figure out why exactly something went the way that it did, we can prevent it from happening again in the future and then improve, get better, grow, and ultimately win.
Cause that's what it's all about isn't it?  Win everything.  


 There's a modest Pick 6 carryover at Belmont Park tomorrow, I better hit the books.....

That's all I got,
raychihasspoken

Under construction!

It's funny, I thought creating this thing would be a whole lot easier! Since I don't know html please stay tuned for the REAL look of this here experiment....